The Biggest Mistake To Wanting Your Ex Back Right Now

First Thing To Do If I Want My Ex Back

 

 

(Video transcription at the end of the post if you want to read the text)

 

Breaking up sucks.  I know, I’ve been there myself.

 

Right now you are most likely feeling that you can’t live without your ex and you would do anything to get her back.

 

You probably feel like calling her up and telling her how much you love her and you would do anything to get her back.

 

This is completely normal.  I felt like this after my breakup.

 

I Want My Ex Back Now…

 

The problem with this is that you are putting your ex on a pedestal.  She’ll know that she holds in the cards, and will find you desperate or even a little creepy.

 

Treating your ex like a godess and confessing your love will actually decrease your chances of getting back with her.

 

Don’t do this.

 

Focus on yourself.

 

Take control back.

 

Watch the video above to learn what the right thing to do in this situation.

 

Ashley’s ex recovery system is a step by step guide to get your ex back fast.

 

- Tim

 

P.S. Any questions feel free to comment below.

 

Video Transcription

 

Hi this is Ashley Kay from exrecoverysystem.com. One of the questions or concerns I get ask a lot about is from men and women tell me I really screwed up, I love my ex greatly, I think he or she is the one for me, I am just totally miserable without them and what can I do to get them back. What can I do right because I feel like I’m absolutely dying and I’m miserable without them. When I instantly hear that basically the fact when they say my ex is the one for me and I need to get them back, I have to get them back, or else I’m going to be miserable or I’m going to die or something when I get that impression from somebody asking me for help, it instantly worries me because I know that person is putting their ex on a pedestal, they’re putting themselves in a bit of a hole because they’re giving their ex too much power  for  them.

If you feel like you’re someone who can relate to that if you feel like this is the one for me, I need to get this person back. If I don’t get this person back I may never ever be happy again. If you feel like that you really need to stop and have a deep think of what you are saying because what you’re most likely thinking is an illusion, it’s not actually real. Just imagine someone else putting that kind of pressure on you and thinking that you’re the only one in the world for them that if they didn’t have you they will be going to be miserable for the rest of their lives, that’s a bit traumatized but basically that’s what you are saying and what kind of pressure that puts on you to be able to perform or provide for this other person, frankly it would probably freak you out a little bit if you put that much pressure, if someone’s putting you up on such a high pedestal basically, feel like you can’t do wrong and that you’re the only thing that’s keeping them going. I’ve had this experience as well, when someone’s basically told me with one of the relationships I was in, he told me I don’t have any other ambitions in life except for making you happy except for you, me.

It’s not that flattering to woman when you say that to her basically he’s saying I don’t have a life outside of you. Now, I’m just going to focus all my energies on you, on making you happy. On making the relationship work, I’m just focusing on you and you and you. That’s the only thing that makes me whole. That is really dangerous when you give someone that power not only does it freak that other person out and makes some question “ do I really want to be with someone who puts me up so high that I can’t do no wrong” you can’t really relate to that person. Not only to that other person feel uncomfortable but you’re sabotaging yourself and your relationship because ultimately a relationship is about two people working together to grow together but to grow as individuals as well so the key is you need to grow as individual and you need to grow together.

So when you tell yourself that you don’t have anything else going in your life except for this woman or this man that is a death trap. Not only that but when you tell yourself this, it will affect the way you interact with your partner with your ex, when you’re trying to get him or her back, they’re going to sense this very quickly that you really want them back. You’re really eager to please them, you’re really eager to do anything to get them back. And when you tell yourself you would do anything to get your ex back then you really need to look at this because it means you don’t have control, you’re giving someone else control of your happiness that’s really really dangerous and very unhealthy for you. So the very first thing I would say if you’re feeling like this, if you’re feeling you’re giving this person too much power then you need to regain, take back that power  onto yourself and the only way you can do this is tell yourself, I’m gonna focus on me and this other person is on my level,” they’re not God, they’re not someone who can do no wrong and if I don’t have them then I’m going to be miserable for the rest of my life.

You’re going to put them down to your level and think they’re not perfect either they definitely have issues, they contributed to the relationship breaking down, they didn’t treat me very well, I deserve someone better than that. If that person is willing to put effort into the relationship and meet me half way, then great, we can work something out. But if they’re not, then I’m no longer going to put that person into the pedestal and think of them as great being that I can’t touch because that is not true, that’s in your head. And basically, just put that energy back onto yourself instead of always giving them the power thinking if they don’t do this, then I’m gonna feel like this.

Well, you can’t control what other people feels, you can only control how you feel and how you react to different things so if they’re not going to give you the response that you need well, then you say, I’m gonna give love to myself so I don’t care as much if they don’t give me that love or that attention that you desire and when you do this, when you pour more of that love back into yourself and start focusing on what you want things that make you happy, your own personal goals just doing these healthy things for yourself then that other person is going to see, they’ll going to notice that “oh he is not putting all his energy on me, or she is not putting all her energy on me” then maybe, this person changed now, maybe he or she has got something else going on, he’s got something and if you give that impression that you’ve got something else going on it’s like knowing a secret that someone else wants to know then your ex is going to start gravitating towards you because they will be thinking what does he know that I don’t, what does she know that I don’t,  drawing to and wanting to rediscover who you are and find out why you’re so happy now, why you’re so comfortable with  yourself and why you suddenly don’t care as much about what they think.

Then, you can start that relationship from a healthy foundation, healthy place so you’re not just kind a white lopsided sort of thing and when you do that you have a much better chance of making the relationship work. So that is my video tip for today, if you want to know more helpful tips and more videos free videos on what you can do to get your ex back and regain their respect and their love, just go to my website which is in a  description below and I’ll talk to you  more there. See yah!

 

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Leave A Reply (7 comments so far)


  1. Junior Collins
    1539 days ago

    Now I know that I admit to my mistake and that I messed it up. I was abusive at the time which is the reason why she left me, I don’t feel too proud of myself because I let the best most caring loving partner I have ever had and I don’t know how to say sorry to her. She deserves better than that. I haven’t gotten in contact with her in four days so I’m trying my best to give her some space. How much space should I give her before I contact her to say sorry for all the promises I’ve broken and I’m doing my very best to move on?


    • Tim
      1539 days ago

      Hi Junior,

      It’s ok we all make decisions that in hindsight we may sometimes not like, but there is no point reflecting on the past. The key is for you deciding if you want her back or you want to move on. If you want her back you need to maintain no contact as Ashley talks about. And in this situation you need to look out for YOU and not really worry about giving her space etc.


  2. Michael Chattmon
    1526 days ago

    About 2 weeks ago, my ex girlfriend broke up with me. She and I really loved each other. We weren’t in love, but we cherished each other. I spent 4 days crying and a week and a half grieving. She says that she doesn’t want to date anyone anymore. She wants to have fun, enjoy her college life and focus on her career. We are still friends, but speaking to her isn’t that easy anymore. She said that we both messed up, but we always have our differences at time, and we still stayed with each other, but when it came down to what happened a few weeks ago, she called it quits and said we could only be friends and nothing more. Since then, I’ve been a hollow form of myself. I have faith in us and I believe that she and I will be together again, but I would like to know. Where do I stand in this situation?


    • Tim
      1526 days ago

      Hi Michael. First of all it’s absolutely normal to feel this way after a break up. The excuses she gives like having fun and enjoying college life and focusing on her career are LOGICAL reasons. Women work on emotion not logic the key is getting to her emotionally. Here is a good video which will help you know where you are ready to contact your ex: http://www.girlfriendcure.com/what-to-say-during-initial-contact-with-your-ex/


  3. Taavi
    1518 days ago

    Hi Tim,
    I used to abuse my ex lately whenever I got mad at her. I don’t exactly know why I started to abuse her. About three months ago I was always there for her and so on.
    I don’t have any money yet to buy Ashleys book because I’ve lost everything in life after she broke up with me. She said she never wants to hear from me and threatened me with the police if I contact her.
    the night after we broke up she logged in to my Skype and she saw a conversation with an other girl who was a friend of us. She told me to look other girls and so on
    I commented that she looks pretty and so. After that she called me and was crying. She said “I mean nothing to you” and I was going to describe how much I love her and she hung up on me. After that I called her for two days and finally received an SMS where she told me to leave her alone otherwise she’ll report me for harassment.
    I want her back but what to do?
    Thank you


    • Tim
      1517 days ago

      This is one of the texts that the text your ex back program teaches (look under the Product Reviews section) to text:

      “Want to tell you that you were right about the breakup…I guess we do need space. Amazingly something wonderful happened recently…I guess when things happen they happen for a reason…You know what?”

      Try that let me know if it works.

      - Tim


  4. Alex
    1497 days ago

    Hi Tim,
    My girlfriend of 9 months broke up with me 2ish months ago. The last two months have been tough and we’ve both gone through phases of hating each other and saying hurtful stuff. This blew over a couple of weeks ago and we realised we both really clicked as friends. However, one day she came round to mine just to hang out and we ended up getting off. We both thought it was weird but right at the same time. Over the next few days we exchanged friendly text contact with her saying such things as “this is weird, but i don’t regret it” and “i want to see you, which is a weird feeling”. We even had plans to spend the day together at the end of the week. I really thought I managed to win her back after all the hurt and drama. However, the day before we were supposed to spend the day together, she bailed on me and said this wasn’t right. I was extremely confused and hurt, and she said that it wasn’t fair on me without giving me a reason why. We still met up the day after and she revealed to me that at a party during the week, she drunkenly kissed one of my friends, but claimed it was nothing. I wasn’t too bothered about this but I was more bothered that she ditched me again without really giving anything a chance. She said she didn’t know how she felt and needed time to think. I tried to give her some space over the next week, with some small contact but nothing major. However, she did reveal that she wasn’t keen on any commitment. Over the week, the thought of her and my friend really got to me too. She planned to come over to mine on the Saturday to give things a shot, but then she bailed on me again, because of school work and not because she didn’t want to come. After suggesting a few other dates she kept on saying things like “mmmm” or “maybe”, and I kind of got the sign that she didn’t seem keen. So I suggested we put things to an end because it was seriously toying with my head and I felt I was being strung along. She didn’t seem too bothered. The thing is, now I’m kicking myself cos I still don’t know how she felt about everything and I don’t know what could have happened, but now I’ve closed it off. I still really love and miss her cos she wasn’t only my girlfriend, she was also by best friend. I have no idea what to do. Should I try giving things a shot, or am I better off moving on?